May the Force Be With You

We went for a walk one day and my organized parents lost the fashionable red leash that matched my harness. Don't ask me how -- they brought it into the house and, according to my Mommy, dropped it right on the middle step. So when it comes time to take me out again, the next hour is consumed with flipping the house upside down saying, where is the leash? where is the leash? While this is going on, I have been crossing my hind legs to prevent from going pee on the carpet of the living room (sometimes I am very well-behaved). I am trying to telepathically tell them "Forgot that leash, I have to go outside NOW!" So, my college-educated parents decide, "hey, let's use the leash Frances had when she was a puppy!" What?!? That was like one year and 20lbs ago!

As you can see from the pictures, it was a totally embarrassing situation. Not only did the blue leash clash with the red harness, it was super-skinny!

I am none too pleased. My parents obviously don't realize the need for a puggy to look chic and svelte when going out for a walk. That skinny blue leash did nothing to hide my figure flaws.

But I got my revenge. Using the powers of the force, bestowed upon me by my biological father who had turned to the dark side ( he had an affair with a poodle. A poodle for goodness sake), I transformed my pounds-enhancing leash into an instrument for vengence -- a light-saber leash!

See how my Daddy recoils in pain and fear as the light-saber leash unleashes my fury on his poor soul.

Seeing my wrath and afraid of garnering a similar fate as Daddy, Mommy drove to Wal-Mart (another evil empire, but that is a different story) lickety-split to buy me a new leash. A fashionably red one (sometimes they learn quick . . . .)